I let an alignment guy work on my centerfold.

I don't trust him to work on it again to straighten the steering wheel or re-set it to stock numbers he feels comfortable with.
I'll just twist one of the tie-rods myself.

Maybe I'll be forgiven if I buy her a set of fancy cotter pins.

Give her a good lube to make amends.

Hey, you can learn a lot from an alignment guy! I learned that if your cam bolts are sticky there's a very easy way to get them loose. Get a real d___ long handled wrench and give one big, quick, wrenching heave

Solid gold cotter pins, wash and lube, even new tires and paint job - ain't nothin' gonna fix this . . .

Now where did I read about how to commit the perfect . . .

Maybe I'll write a haiku about her.
How do I move this thing to Other or Social Corner?