My engine does not appear to burn oil. No smell of oil burning and no blue smoke, and it only ever seems to need oil once a week (I drive 50 hard miles a day), and that I attribute to weeping gaskets. What I am not getting though is that the car "steams" through it's exhaust hot or cold. It constantly puts out a steady stream of steam. What gives?

coolant consumption? Check the level in your rad?

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I've been calling it as i see it for my entire life and that's not about to change. Take it or leave it.

Sounds to me like it burns a quart every 250 miles. That's pretty significant oil consumption, dude. If all that oil were getting by your gaskets or seals, it'd be a steady drip. Sure it's steam? If so, and it's hot and it's not a frigid cold and damp day, I'd say you have a coolant leak into a combustion chamber, probably a bad head gasket.

D/W

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If it ain't broke, fix it!